Try Saying These Instead of “Calm Down!”

Have you ever said one of these phrases to your partner, friend, family member or even a co-worker when they are showing intense emotions? Or maybe their emotions aren’t intense, but the person was simply sad about something.  

“Calm down!” or “Settle down!”

“Get over it.”

“Let it go!”

“Snap out of it!”

Most of us have probably used at least one of these phrases before!  I’ll bet you’ve probably even had a well-intentioned loved one or someone at work say these things to you.  They don’t offer compassion and really aren’t that helpful.   

When you are in a situation with an emotional friend, family member or co-worker, practice saying one of these instead: 

“I’ll listen”

“Would you like to talk about it later? I can give you time”

“Let’s go for a walk and talk about it.”

“How can I help?”

“Help me understand.”

“Let’s go to (insert coffee place here) and then we can talk.”

These phrases convey that you are willing to listen and seek to understand what another person is feeling.  They also send a message that you care.  Conveying that you care is HUGE!   We all could use a little more of that.  

Try it and let me know how it works for you.